Get rich quick!*

* by “rich” I mean “scammed and turned into a laughingstock”

In which a faithful correspondent with a Malaysia Hotmail account invites me to earn millions of dollars marketing crude oil.

I highlighted a couple bits in red for your amusement.

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From: CRUDE OIL TRADING <accountsim_service3@hotmail.my>
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I’m talking of crude oil trading! This is considered as the most legitimate and fastest money making machinery anyone can setup. A crude oil “lifting license” gives the owner the mandate of the Lee Oil Company (Suppliers of the crude oil), to locate crude oil buyers and arrange a buy/sale crude oil transaction between the oil company and the crude oil buyers. The “lifting license” syndrome came into place because the national oil company does not deal directly with the buyers of the crude oil rather, they prefer to issue oil “lifting license allocations” to individuals/companies to assist them to market the crude oil which they produce. Anyone that owns an lifting license” from the local National Oil Company is entitle d to a $2.00 commission from the oil company on each barrel of crude sold to the buyer and another $1. 00 commission from the buyer. In total oil lifting license owners receives a $3.00 commission on each barrel of crude sold by the oil company.
Please note that the commission rates of $2.00 and $1.00 normally increases in times of crude oil scarcity. The smallest license allocation/quantity one can procure from the international Oil Company is for the sale of 500,000 barrels of crude monthly/per transaction. This implies that 500,000 barrels of crude oil will be assigned to the license owner for sale per month. This allocation size will earn the license owner about ($3.00 multiply by 500,000 barrels) which is $1.5 million gross commissions monthly. If one is lucky to secure a bigger allocation that means you will be earning more commissions monthly. These commissions will be calculated and paid to the license at the end of the sales transaction.
In case you decide to invest in this money spinning project, I will personally reveal to you a well packaged procedure to acquire an oil lifting license. Your interest in this investment will multiply more profit to us as am give you all assurance this is not fraud or scam. Before we will proceed on this business we will get an agreement signed and notarized by notary public of the country. I will release other information and documents once I receive your attention and interest.
We count on your warm co-operation hoping to hearing from you soon if you are interested.
Regards
Lee Oil Company

So — what do you think? Sounds like a good way to finance Tuerto, no? I mean, Mr. Lee Oil Company is personally guaranteeing that it’s not a fraud or scam. That’s enough for me!