In case you don’t read Spanish

Chigüire Bipolar in fine form. An attempt to translate real news follows.

The U.S. and Venezuela are facing a new crisis following the U.S.’s visa revocation against Venezuela’s ambassador. Adding to the tension is Venezuela’s aggressive response: Increasing oil output and overwhelming the imperial stronghold with an unmanageable quantity of crude.

“If the government [of the USA] is going to expel our ambassador, go right ahead!” President Hugo Chavez said during an official ceremony shown on state television. “If they want to cut diplomatic relations, go right ahead! Our response will be radical — working day after day to produce the oil you need, and more, saturating you with gasoline, selling everything we produce from our soil, to see how you look drowing in oil, hahaha.”

For the State Department, the Venezuelan retaliation represents a broad menace. “Our interest is to maintain cordial and diplomatic relations with Venezuela, but we couldn’t ever consume the amount of oil that Venezuela is threatening to sell,” Mark Toner, a State Department spokesman, said Thursday. “If Venezuela brings its plan to fruition, our country will collapse.”

The crisis now in process is a replay of what was seen in September 2008, when Chavez expelled U.S. ambassador Patrick Duddy. The U.S. response at the time was also severe: It began an overwhelming increase in exports to Venezuela.

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