Defending marriage

Mama dame una moneda de cien, quiero un Bon o Bon

2,500 Bon o Bons could be yours...

With marriage under assault from divorce, death (see p. 12), and now the gays, Chile’s government is going to defend this institution the old-fashioned way: pay for it.

That’s right, all you and your spouse have to do is complete 50 years as a married couple and the two of you will receive 250,000 Chilean pesos, worth $483.14 at today’s impressive exchange rate. What, you say your spouse died a week before your anniversary? Sorry to hear it, but you folks don’t deserve the money. It’s people like her that are undermining the institution of marriage. Not the “cafés con piernas.” Really.

Update: Bon o Bon now spelled correctly. Thanks to eagle-eyed MT for catching the crucial error.

11 thoughts on “Defending marriage

  1. Noel Maurer

    I’ll add to Kepler’s point, but it may behoove you not to explain. Assuming that it is even possible to explain. It’s one of those things that needs to be seen to be believed.

  2. sapitosetty Post author

    Well I’m new around here myself, all I know is there are a lot of cafés with one-way glass on the outside so nobody can see in, and always with a sign saying “seeking young ladies, good looking.” I’m really not sure how the business works, but the short of it is men go and have drinks with scantily clad women.

    I went into a café in Argentina (um, oops, with the girlfriend and 5-year-old), where coffee was 2 or 3 times pricier than anywhere else, and the pretty girls sitting around smoking were obviously waiting for “dates.” As it turns out, the owner of the café is also the owner of the love hotel around the corner. So the place is basically a very dignified front end for a brothel. I suspect the cafés con piernas are the same general idea. In Caracas, there are lots of brothels that are much more up-front about what they are doing. Even in shopping malls. Up there, they defend marriage in a whole different way, making adultery a more severe crime for women than for men, for example.

  3. Kepler

    So, you haven’t actually been inside?
    I have never been to Chile, but a Chilean talked to me about them. He said they were the default place for many to go for a coffee, like here in Europe to go to a normal cafe or pub, only that in Chile the clients are by far men and there are only waitresses and they are half-naked.

    So, it is not necessarily a brothel even if it is definitely almost like striptease as waitress but very common.
    Divorce was made legal only recently in Chile. Divorce was possible in Venezuela since Guzmán Blanco times, over 120 years ago.
    Chileans are incredibly machistas. Curiously, they had the first woman president in America.

  4. Hugo

    I don’t understand how on earth can gays be a threat to marriage. Your comment sounds to me as a pure homophobic-catholic-style nonsense. According to their twisted rationale maybe marrying gays undermine the attractiveness of straight marriage. As if I cared about what others are doing before I engaged! I think you better clarify your position!

    1. sapitosetty Post author

      Wait, you got engaged? And you plan to marry? How can you become part of the problem like this? A direct attack on a sacred institution. You are going to marry, and one day, in some way, it will end, and marriage! The sacred union! will be dissolved. And it will be your fault. Much better to shag in sin.

      No seriously man, I don’t think any of those things are an assault on marriage. I am not, however, in charge of Chile. And the people who are, are a bunch of Opus Dei “defenders” of marriage. Now let’s all take our irony supplements and get back to work.

  5. Hugo

    ok, ok, I missed your sarcasm the first time and jumped the gun!

    As for the “sacred” institution, it is, unfortunately, too late for me now as I’ve been married for 7 years.

    And yes, I do support gay marriage because it’s not fair for others to live in joy while the rest of us suffer!

  6. otto

    “…I do support gay marriage because it’s not fair for others to live in joy while the rest of us suffer..”

    I second that emotion

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